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Fake Annuity News: Shootin' It Straight With Stan®

Stan Haithcock
November 2, 2022
Fake Annuity News: Shootin' It Straight With Stan

The Annuity Agenda

We are familiar with fake news. That's fake news; this is fake news, and what we've found out as a country is obvious bias with the news. At this point, when we hear news or read something a little bit outrageous, we just say, "Wait a minute, I wonder if that's true." Or, "I wonder what's behind that." Or, "I wonder, is there an agenda behind that?" That is sad that we don't have a place where we can go, at least personally, that I trust news just on the surface. Read the headline; I trust it.

I typically am at this point where I read the headline, and I'm like, "I don't know. Maybe that's true, maybe it's partly true, kind of true. I don't know." I'm not political; I could care less about either party. I am not a fan of either one, just because it's all agenda-driven, et cetera. Going to the fake news side, the news is agenda-driven, unfortunately, which leads me to fake annuity news.

When people start making the, "Well, all annuities," or, "Well, all this..." When people say, "I hate all annuities," that's like saying I hate all restaurants or I hate all shoes. But fake annuity news comes in two forms. The first type of fake annuity news that drives me crazy is the generality ones. "Well, all annuities are expensive, Stan The Annuity Man®." That's total crap. Because the majority of annuities have no annual fees at all, period. Commissions are built-in and paid for by the annuity company's reserves. So all annuities are expensive is stupid.

Do They Annuity Companies Keep Your Money?

Or, "Well, you should never buy an annuity," and they say it like there's one, "because when you die, the annuity company keeps the money." That is so stupid, and here's the problem with that fake annuity news. The majority of people that are spewing are advisors that don't know crap. I'd rather ask them about ballet, opera, or Broadway than annuities because they have no clue. All they know is that if you buy one as their client, they don't charge you a fee. That's that negative, uninformed misinformation, fake annuity news.

Contractual Guarantees

Or, "Well, you know, Stan, in the annuity industry, no one wakes up in the morning and wants to buy an annuity." That's crap too. My company has trademarked Where Annuities Are Bought, Not Sold. There's no high pressure. People buy contractual guarantees. People love social security. Hello, amen, hallelujah, because it's the best inflation annuity on the planet. People love CDs; people love treasuries. Well, annuities have a CD-type version called a multi-year guarantee annuity. That's fake annuity news on the misinformed, stupid, and dumb as a box of hair. They used to say in the South, "You're dumb as a box of hair, son." Think about it. Or a box of hammers. "You're as stupid as a box of hammers."

My opinion is if you don't know what you're talking about, shut up and ask questions and learn. Get my books, and watch my 800-plus videos that are informative. Fake annuity news on the negative side, "Well, you should never buy one right now because the timing's not good." Timing? What are you talking about, timing? When you're buying lifetime income, it's primarily based on your life expectancy. So the older you are, the higher the payment. Timing? "Well, I'm going to wait until next year." Great. It's going to be higher. I can guarantee it. Why? Because you're going to be older.

So, the fake annuity news from the misinformation disinformation, stupid is as stupid does category. Have you ever seen those things where people whisper something in someone's ear, and then 20 people later try to whisper the same thing? By the time it gets to the 20th person, it's so messed up and convoluted that you can't even believe it. So it's one of those things where it's just, "Well, annuities are all bad." Really? Okay, well, then, if you believe that, then stop your social security payments because that's the best annuity on the planet.

Bad Chicken Dinners

The other type of fake annuity news that's out there is these bad chicken dinner seminars. Or the Saturday morning radio shows that are, "Well, market upside with no downside, and you can get a 40%, 30%, 20%, 25% bonus upfront to make up for those losses." That's fake. That's such misinformation; it’s borderline sociopathic.

Hello, Ted Bundy Annuity Company, somebody. Bernie Madoff Annuity Company. I've always said that if Bernie Madoff had it to do all over again, he would've given up on the stocks and the bonds. He would've gone to the indexed annuity space, which, by the way, and for the record, we love indexed annuities because they're good CD products and great delivery systems for income riders. I'm on the record for that, so don't call me and say, "Why do you hate index annuities, Stan?" For all of you agents out there, just don't waste your time contacting me. I will ignore you, period.

But he would come back and sell market upside with no downside and upfront bonuses. I mean, all of this is nonsense. Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it is every time—the fake annuity news on the upside is too good to be true. I guess you could say if it sounds too bad, that's fake too. That's, "All annuities are expensive, and all are bad. I'd shoot myself before I bought an annuity." All this stuff you hear that's fake annuity news. Now, who's the leader of the band? I'm leading the way with good annuity information, annuity factual information.

Brutally Factual

I mean, I call myself the walking middle finger of annuity truth. Why? Because I'm brutally factual. I'm tired of both fake annuity news types. The misinformation, stupid, stick your chest out. I know what I'm talking about, and annuities are all bad. You're stupid. Stop talking. Or the sociopathic agents are going, "Well, I've got the wand that can adjust for inflation, upfront bonus, market upside with no downside, and free long-term care. If you're stupid enough to buy that, swallow the stake and sign the paper, period.

Fake annuity news is real. Fake news is real. But fake annuity news is harmful to the point where people make decisions on their retirement based on fake annuity news, not the facts. I always say you buy an annuity for what it will do. Not what it might do®. Make your decisions based on your contractual guarantees. They might do the pitch. The hypothetical, theoretical, projected back, tested unicorns chasing the butterflies crap that you hear."

So fake annuity news exists on both sides of the spectrum. The spectrum of where the advisors don't know what the heck they're talking about. They want to manage stocks and bonds, and they hate annuities. They have no clue what they're talking about. Then you have the sociopathic agents that will tell you anything and exactly what you want to hear to get the sale and for you to sign the paperwork.

Both are horrific. I'm not sure which one's worse. I think I get mad equally ver... I get mad when I hear products mis-sold, and I know what they are designed to do, and people buy them for what they were pitched to do, which is sad, man. It is terrible. I hate that. But I'm hearing more and more people with the walking around stuff: “Well, annuities are all expensive, and annuities are all bad. The only winner of an annuity sale is an agent."

I'm not going to let you get away with these misconceptions, misperceptions, and untruths. I'm going to stop the conversation, and I'm going to say, "Stop. That's not true and let me explain why and give you real facts." Or, on the other side, you go, "Well, this agent said that I was going to get 12% and no downside, and it's going to lock in and all that stuff." I'm going to say, "Stop. That's not true."

Don't you wish the news would do that? Don't you wish the news would follow... The regular news, and the fake news, would follow the Stan the Annuity Man formula of the stop. That's not true. Maybe that's the name of the news organization I'm going to... it's going to be called Stop; that’s not true. Then we just take the news, split both sides, but all cables, and go, "That's not true. That's crap. That's agenda-driven, or that's advertiser driven."

I joke about CNBC, and listen, they’re for-profit. But man, you don't see many crypto ads anymore, do you? Come on, man. But they were pushing it for a while, and there's some tough stuff out there, and there was some fake news on that. There was some fake financial news. So what I'm telling you as Stan the Annuity Man, America's annuity agent®, the person out here leading the way in education and entertainment as combined edutainment, as you know, and the reason you watch this, is you know I'm passionate about it. I believe in it. I understand the stuff backward and forwards. I've forgotten more than most agents will ever know in their life and forget it on purpose just to make the point.


The point is you are buying annuities for the contractual guarantees of the policy period, and there's nothing fake about that. There's nothing that you can shine up and polish with that. You're buying contractual guarantees. So be careful out there. Fake annuity news is all over the internet. Fake annuity news is at the bad chicken dinner seminar and expensive steak dinner seminar. Fake annuity news is that Saturday morning radio show with some doofus talking about, "Well, I can get you market upside with no downs," They never mentioned the word annuity. Then when you get in there, they pressure you into signing the paperwork. That's fake annuity news.

But the other fake annuity news is you go into the master of the universe marble office at the downtown office, and the guy goes, "Never buy an annuity. They're all expensive, and they're all priced against you." That person's stupid. That person should shut up and do their homework because I've taken all those tests, the series seven and all those tests back in the day when I worked for Morgan Stanley, etc., and those tests and those firms do not focus on annuities. They do not look at annuities. It's an afterthought. They want to manage ongoing money so they can track future revenue, which is a fact, Jack. That is an absolute fact and is why everyone wants to wrap up your account. It's not because, "I'm going to sit on your side of the table, sir, because if you make money, I make..."

No. The firms tell the people to say that, but they just want to track future revenue. That's all that's about, period. I left because I couldn't stand that kind of fake news either. So with that being said, be careful out there. Shop all carriers for the highest contractual guarantee. Use us, use me, use my team. We will shoot it straight. We will tell you if you don't need an annuity, and we'll tell you if you're putting too much money in. It's that simple.

A few other people are doing it the correct way, but you've got to be very careful. There are no mulligans in retirement. There are no do-overs. You can't fall for the sales pitch. Swallow the food, but don't swallow the pitch when you go to these seminars and good foodstuff. Just think logically. Put on your thinking cap and if you have any questions, call me. Schedule a call. I will tell you the truth. I will. I’m good if I don't sell another annuity in my life. I do this because I'm pissing everyone off. After all, it's the truth, and I'm helping people decipher all this so they can make good decisions.

That's what makes me happy. What excites me is we're cutting through all this noise and getting to people and saying, "This is the real deal. This is actually how it works. This is the part that you need to focus on. The contractual part." That's satisfying to me. Listen, that's Shooting It Straight With Stan. Of course, I'm passionate. Of course, I'm Stan, the Annuity Man, America's annuity agent.

Never forget to live in reality, not the dream, with annuities and contractual guarantees! You can use our calculators, get all six of my books for free, and most importantly book a call with me so we can discuss what works best for your specific situation.

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