Peggy Nicholson: Preparing for Death Without All The Information You Need

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welcome to fun with annuities with your

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host me stan the annuity man america's

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annuity agent can annuities be fun can

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contractual guarantees be fun

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absolutely they can find out the brutal

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facts about annuities with no sales

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pitches or high pressure nonsense just

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the brutal and factual annuity truth

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which is all you need to hear

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let's have some fun with annuities and

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let's have that fun start right now

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[Music]

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welcome to fun with annuities i'm your

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host stan the annuity man america's

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annuity agent license in all 50 states i

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want to welcome every single person out

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there on all the major podcast platforms

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and also the people that are watching

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this on the fun with annuities youtube

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channel

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we have a very special guest today and

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i'm so excited that she's on the show

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her name is is peggy nicholson

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she lives in st augustine florida my pr

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team found her because she's written

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she's written a book but she she's just

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a very unique lady

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and she is very very smart and i'm i

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have i'm having her on

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to talk about

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kind of life and and what life looks

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like and she's currently 78 and a half

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years old you won't know that when you

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hear her talk and when you look at her

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she's vibrant she's she's well traveled

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well educated

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she got her phd from the university of

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pennsylvania um she is not a client

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she's just uh has become a friend and

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someone that i've talked to over the

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years um but i think she's going to

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provide very very good insight into just

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her life and how that might translate to

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the people out there that are

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transitioning you know into that chapter

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two

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of your life which is

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lifestyle

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maximizing every single day

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finding a passion and then going from

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there i think she's going to be

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an ongoing consultant and guest

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from an insight of of retirement from

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inside of of trying to maximize every

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day peggy nicholson thank you so much

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and welcome to fun with annuities

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hello

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well

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you know this is real this is uh really

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exciting to see you in person because as

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you said i've talked to you a couple

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times over the years that's true and so

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it's and i've seen your picture because

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of your booklets and so forth but i have

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not seen you in person but

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and i have to tell you that my official

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real name is margaret m nicholson and

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the reason i want to say that is that's

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what i publish my book under and if

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people are looking for

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i'm hoping to publish more books i want

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to make sure they know to look up

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margaret nicholson right and when i go

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by peggy for people that don't know that

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peggy's a nickname for margaret it

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confuses the hell out of some people

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well in with all of my celebrity guests

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that we have on we have a permanent page

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on the site

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i'll have the link to to peggy's site i

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have a link to her book

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and all kinds of things that she has

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done and um you know there's a contact

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uh

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portion there if you want to reach out

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to her she's fantastic and she'd be more

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than happy to talk with you um ongoing i

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want to bring up we were talking um a

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couple weeks ago preparing for this

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podcast and i said tell me some things

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that are happening in your life that are

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kind of unique right now

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and you mentioned that you have a group

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that you kind of organize and oversee

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and the group is called i want everyone

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to just listen to this is great the

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group is called the preparing

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for deaf support group right is that

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what it is it is

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okay and i have to tell you that i

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started talking about this for probably

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more than a year

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and around saint augustine which is a

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wonderful place to retire to i did it

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because i had a grandchild that was born

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here but you meet a lot of great people

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and finally a couple women said yes i

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would join there's four of us all

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together that meet consistently and

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what's fascinating is i said the reason

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i want to do it is i want to live my day

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time better i'm not looking

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for death i want to make today enjoyable

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by not

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by knowing that i'm going to die and

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what was funny our first time we met

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together

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everybody's

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they all went around the room and they

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talked about what they had prepared for

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their funerals and i was really

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surprised and sort of irritated because

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the focus is on today but do you know

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that this has been wonderful for me

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because i've decided um

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about being buried i've

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taken some steps

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and here's the funny thing um how far

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i've gone i listened to your uh podcast

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the other day about

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um

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money for life what's that what do you

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call it that minimum

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money for life thing it's called the

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income floor

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yes the income floor because that's why

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i got back in touch with you again

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i've taught

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mostly in my life i've been a mother

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i've been in school for years and years

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i've had different jobs and after every

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job i was on unemployment and i've

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traveled a lot and i lived in holland

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for six years five six years

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and i lived in germany for six months

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and

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when you work at universities

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the tax thing is different

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so i have a very small social security

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and i have those 403 b's and iras

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and i have friends that don't have as

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much money as i do and they seem to have

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more relaxed joy in life and that was

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part of what i've been working on is how

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to really

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enjoy every single day by not having to

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think about money anymore

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and i think that's so important i mean

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you were you were a late starter in the

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college you went to college at age 28

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and then earned your phd from university

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of pennsylvania um which is pretty heady

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stuff now the preparing for death

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support group i'm gonna i'm gonna stay

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here a while because you told me

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something that i needed to tell this

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story you go you went did you go to a

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cemetery and lay

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lay in the grave you're you're giving

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the secret away we our next meeting is

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monday night

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and that's what i'm going to show them

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i'm gonna from this hulu show

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they went to a retreat and they dug

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graves and laid in a cemetery okay one

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of our day pro one of our things was

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that somebody was arranging for us to

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visit a funeral home and my

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my thing that i have planned for them on

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monday is in terms of that

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floor where you were talking about the

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pill and the

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lifelong

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yeah all of a sudden i thought well

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my mother could have lived at my mother

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did live at home until she died and she

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was able to do that because i lived next

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door and i thought you know what as long

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as my brain is working and so forth

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um she just had trouble preparing meals

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and taking care of certain things

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i'm taking them to a independent

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assisted living facility tomorrow or a

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monday because to look to see what is

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that fee because one of the ways that i

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think i should plan is what would you

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need but it's true we're i'm now you if

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if they hear this ahead of time they

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won't they'll find out they won't they

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won't but

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you if you lay in lay in a cemetery or

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like a shallow grave and think okay

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what do i really wish that i had done or

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what do i really wish

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my last words were with a person

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or what

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am i really going to be sorry that i

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didn't do something

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and

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since this group started i have to tell

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you even though i have goals

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i'm not

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i'm enjoying every day what i do every

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day with my writing every day

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i'm not spending that day

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looking for tomorrow i'm

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i obviously make appointments and stuff

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but i'm trying to focus on this could be

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my last day

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i just think that's so refreshing i

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always tell people that there's no

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u-hauls behind herself which means that

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you can't take it with you and i think

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you've taken it to an interesting step

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and i'm trying to envision as you were

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talking about laying in an actual

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shallow grave just laying there and and

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trying to calm down

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and trying to process thoughts and think

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and reflect and plan

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yes that's an extreme way to do it

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but i think people could literally do

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that in a virtual sense whether they're

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sitting on the couch or whatever and

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envision themselves laying in that grave

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and like you're saying um think about

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things what's what are what are going to

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be your last words you know what's the

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legacy not money what's the legacy that

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you're going to leave

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to your friends your family the world

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what's the bucket list that you have in

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your head or have written down that you

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need to check off

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because i don't know about you peggy but

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during the last two years with kovid

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if that wasn't a wake-up call it should

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have been

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have you with your friends in your age

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group and once again she's i know you're

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not going to believe that she's 78 and a

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half years old

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um

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is that coming up more and more people

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talking about the fragility of life

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what a lot of people

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that my friends

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some of us said we we really

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liked

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the shutdown because of the things we

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got done now

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the people that felt that

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we're lucky like i in the very beginning

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i was really careful around my daughter

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who lives eight minutes away and my

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son-in-law and my grandson but

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technically i didn't have to be excluded

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from family and because of traveling and

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where i've lived a lot of my friends are

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long distance so the telephone

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i got to talk to friends in the same way

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i would have during covet

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so a lot of people

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you wouldn't i mean when you retire i'm

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telling you you'll be busier than you

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ever were when you work so a lot of my

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friends

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like the shutdown in the sense that like

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i finally went through all my clothes i

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mean this is not something probably you

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should say in public but

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i took all my underpants out and lay

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them on the bed

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i had 84

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pairs of underpants that's a little

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obsessive it is i slacked shirts and i

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found a place um a high school here that

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does this high school does clothing

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design

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and i could donate because the covid um

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shelters didn't want your clothes but i

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could take the clothes to this high

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school and the students can learn how

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clothes are made take them apart and put

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them into

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they always use denim for clothes so

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people i knew

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really did unusual things during covid

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they read more

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and so forth but now we are really

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starting to um

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be out and about again i'm a friend's

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coming in from gainesville tomorrow

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night

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and friday night i'm going to a play

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so you're busy i had a question i

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written down for you and it's something

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that my wife and i were driving the

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other day

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and we're both from lower lower middle

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class america we grew up without money

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she grew up in nebraska i grew up in

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rural north carolina and none of our

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parents were investment people they

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didn't have stocks or anything like that

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which is kind of what the reason i'm

11:58
sitting here kind of led me there but we

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were discussing

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that lower middle class america has

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scars for money in fact money i always

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say money can be a disease i'll give you

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an example my mom

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82 years old 83

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she's got enough money to spend and i

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showed her that she could spend 200 a

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day every single day for the rest of her

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life if she lives to 100

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and if she didn't spend that 200 dollars

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a day it would roll to the next day so

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she'd have to spend she didn't spend any

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today's that's been 400 tomorrow but to

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this day

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she

12:33
pinches pennies and she worries about

12:35
money and she worries about

12:37
i understand that the scars from the

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depression era but i do think that money

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can be a disease to where you can't free

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yourself enough to enjoy it can you

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comment on that

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that's funny but one of my uh

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death support people they actually told

12:53
me because we do it like a potluck too

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so we eat and we drink and we pause

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support potluck

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well when we we meet it we meet at five

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o'clock but now that the weather

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it's lighter we're meeting at 5 30 and

13:07
everybody brings food and of course we

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have wine

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and

13:11
you know we we go around because we

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always make goals of what we're going to

13:16
do and then we go around and we're proud

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of all the goals we end up not achieving

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but i went um

13:23
i i went uh to breakfast with one of the

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women diana in the group

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and i'm looking at the menu and i said

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you know this is ridiculous i just

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looked at the waffles

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and it looked really good there was a

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waffle with um caramel nuts and berries

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there you go i said but that was twelve

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dollars where the plain ones were nine

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and i actually

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could feel myself thinking about it if i

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wanted to go out tomorrow and spend

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thirty dollars cash for a car although

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i've heard it's hard even today yeah

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thirty thousand it's hard to find yeah i

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could i've never bought a car on time

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and i would pay thirty thousand the

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reason why i have money like that is

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because

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i've denied myself most of my life i

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mean not deny deny i've traveled a lot i

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understand

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because yeah that's my point i grew up i

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grew up poor my i mean my sister on my

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mother's 70th birthday we were all in a

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car driving somewhere and my sister

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rhonda said well when we about being we

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were poor my mother said

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we were never poor because of course we

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were never hungry my grandmother

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actually owned one of those one-room

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grocery stores

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but my sister said well then why didn't

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i have five outfits to wear to school to

14:40
make it through a week but you you know

14:43
being poor back then

14:45
you didn't live my great my poor

14:47
grandson if he couldn't have brand name

14:50
clothes it would have been awful but

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it's amazing to have this money i've

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been told a hundred times that i can't

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outlive my money but you don't you don't

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know how

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i don't i don't want to go in a nursing

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home i want to be able to have someone

15:05
come here so how do you ensure that you

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know no i understand but what's your

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advice

15:11
to people that are in their 70s and 80s

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to loosen that grip a little bit and

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loosen that

15:18
intensity and obsessive compulsiveness

15:20
about every single penny my mom to this

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day

15:24
she'll go out to eat and order water and

15:26
i'm always saying mom

15:27
you can afford the drink you literally

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can afford a coke or or a coffee and she

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goes but they did you see what they're

15:34
charging for i understand but you can

15:36
afford it i think my one of my passions

15:40
you know obviously i enjoy what i do

15:42
because i i sell contractual guarantees

15:44
and i set people up for lifetime income

15:45
and things that they need long-term care

15:47
principal protection

15:48
but one of my passions is convincing my

15:50
clients and listeners now that are that

15:53
are all podcast listeners and video

15:55
viewers

15:56
is to live your life

15:58
live life today like you're dying

15:59
tomorrow that that doesn't mean do crazy

16:01
things with your money because you're

16:02
not but do some things that take you out

16:06
of that comfort zone would you agree

16:07
with that

16:08
well here this is why i want to do the

16:10
annuity thing this is why and this might

16:13
help

16:14
i always

16:15
saved whenever you get money you live on

16:18
what you come in and you save some right

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the only money i have now is what's

16:23
saved and of course the social security

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and i don't think of rmds you said on

16:29
that list of things your rmds i never

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think of rmds as income because that's

16:35
somebody forcing me to take my savings

16:37
it's a forced annuity as well it is but

16:40
i don't like i didn't i don't like that

16:42
idea so part of why i'm going to force

16:44
myself to do an annuity

16:47
is it's going to feel like income and on

16:49
my fantasy is and i'll let you know

16:52
after it starts

16:54
my fantasy is that it'll look like

16:56
income like social security and it'll

16:59
look like income and it'll be easier to

17:01
spend and i think the only thing to do

17:03
with that i thought for me to give

17:06
advice

17:07
other people would be

17:09
saying to me why don't you spend more

17:11
you have to do it inch by inch i like i

17:14
ordered

17:15
i ordered the waffles with the caramel

17:17
and nuts good that's good

17:20
and during um

17:22
and during coven did you feel guilty

17:24
stop for a second did you feel guilty

17:26
about that

17:28
well i felt something or i wouldn't even

17:30
thought about it right

17:32
but hey i grew up when i first was old

17:35
enough to go

17:37
with a friend shopping when i lived in

17:39
philly and we went to um

17:41
discount places like lomans and sims i

17:45
remember being in a diner and not

17:47
ordering the shrimp salad sandwich

17:49
because it probably cost 35 cents

17:52
instead of 25 cents or something like

17:54
that but i think you have to just do it

17:57
a little bit at a time and feel

17:59
uncomfortable the first time i still do

18:02
i took everybody out to dinner for for

18:04
my [ __ ] my daughter's birthday

18:06
and my grandson has a girlfriend now

18:09
and

18:10
when i got the bill

18:12
it and it wasn't a really i just almost

18:15
fainted but it's like

18:17
the money is there

18:19
you know people are nodding their heads

18:21
as they're listening to this and and i i

18:23
encourage them you know part of the

18:25
income floor strategy that we tell

18:27
people to do is because if you have that

18:29
money coming in you don't have to worry

18:30
about anything you know and you don't

18:32
have to think about it and you just can

18:34
go live your life um i think the

18:36
preparing for death support group is a

18:40
is an external way for you to

18:44
approach this not only your own

18:46
terms and your friends terms but i want

18:48
people to listen to that you don't have

18:50
to start

18:51
a preparing for deaf support group even

18:53
though i think it would be a neat

18:54
franchise opportunity but you could

18:57
think about that

18:59
um from the standpoint of your life

19:01
because a lot of people peggy and i

19:04
and maybe you can speak to this because

19:06
you've had such a dynamic life and so

19:08
different

19:09
but people work work work work then they

19:11
retire

19:12
and they go into chapter two

19:14
but they don't know what to do in

19:15
chapter two yes you said you you're

19:17
gonna be more busy in retirement then

19:19
that's most k i hear that a lot but a

19:21
lot of people are still lost those a

19:23
personality people are still lost out

19:25
there what's your advice to them how did

19:26
you because you're obviously an a

19:28
personality smart high iq how did you

19:31
handle that transition well in the very

19:34
beginning when i thought that i was

19:36
going to now have time to write my books

19:39
like the thing i was really writing i

19:41
started traveling in the 70s and

19:45
because i'm outgoing and traveled alone

19:48
i would meet a lot of people and if you

19:51
were a woman from the united states

19:53
traveling in europe and especially to

19:55
strange countries like morocco men would

19:58
notice you and come up and talk to you

20:01
and

20:02
um

20:03
i think i have a really good intuitive

20:05
sense so a lot of times the things i did

20:08
other people would say that was crazy

20:10
but nothing bad ever happened so my plan

20:12
was to write for myself i got involved

20:16
in

20:17
volunteer stuff i i was involved with

20:20
habitat for humanity not building houses

20:23
but they had scholarships for the

20:26
schools a generous person had done that

20:28
so i set up a whole program to help the

20:31
kids get in to schools and help families

20:34
um negotiate the whole system and even

20:38
today i still do aarp tax aid counseling

20:42
where you can go to libraries and get

20:44
free tips

20:45
just lately and i swear that the group

20:48
has helped me because like i said

20:50
although they took me off course and

20:52
made me end up planning my

20:55
burial and now i'm going to the

20:58
the other thing

21:00
so you you think you know what you're

21:02
going to think about when you have a

21:04
group like that but you don't know what

21:06
you're going to think about and what's

21:08
happened now is i've spent so much more

21:11
time now

21:12
focused on my writing so

21:15
um on my website i put more stories

21:17
about my mother i had this really really

21:20
unusual bizarre mother

21:22
five um two weeks before she died she

21:24
was a pool hustler and she did like like

21:27
playing pool playing pool

21:30
nice

21:31
she started before women went into bars

21:34
by themselves and of course we're

21:36
talking about working class so we're

21:37
talking about american legion vfw and

21:40
men that didn't know her would come in

21:42
and they'd try to get her to you know

21:45
bet and she wouldn't but they'd want to

21:47
and of course she'd always beat them she

21:49
did five balls in a row before two weeks

21:53
before she died

21:54
and how old was she when she died she

21:57
was only 83 oh that's my other thing she

22:01
died a month before her 83rd birthday so

22:03
that's another part of my preparations

22:07
i i turned 78 last august and that means

22:10
that i'm five years away from when my

22:13
mother died now i'm healthier than my

22:15
mother was because of my blood pressure

22:18
and my heart but you never know about

22:20
cancer my mother had both heart issues

22:22
and cancer okay so i've decided well i'm

22:25
just going to pretend because like you

22:27
say you know that roi thing yeah there's

22:30
no roi until you die right and this is

22:32
what drives me crazy because i'm a

22:35
scientist i mean in the sense of not a

22:37
biologist scientist but a numbers

22:41
statistics

22:43
i

22:44
you all the information that you need to

22:48
decide about your money you can't get

22:51
you you just can't get it you can't find

22:54
out how old you're going to die and you

22:56
can't find out how healthy you're going

22:58
to be before you die like one of the

23:01
financial people said to me

23:03
you've got all these 403 bs at these

23:06
different schools you could you should

23:07
combine everything well i can't because

23:10
of the way that the interest rate was

23:12
set up but he kept warning me the time

23:14
could come when you'd lose your brain

23:16
and then you can't manage

23:18
but it's like so you can't know when

23:21
you're going to die you won't know how

23:22
healthy you are and you won't know

23:24
what's going to happen to the economy

23:27
it immobilizes people like me that are

23:30
that are that analyze and base things on

23:35
something so it it immobilizes me but

23:37
i've decided i'm not going through

23:39
another december

23:41
where i'm agonizing over that stupid rmd

23:44
and what am i going to do and

23:46
so

23:48
one of the most refreshing answers i've

23:49
ever heard all of the information you

23:52
need to make a good decision you can't

23:53
get that's that's one of the best things

23:55
i've ever heard and everyone out there

23:56
listening and viewing this they're like

23:58
she's right

23:59
there she's right we don't at the time

24:01
of this taping obviously we're going

24:02
through you know the back end of covid

24:04
you know for people that are watching

24:06
this five years from now and you know

24:07
we're going through you know invasions

24:09
from company countries into other

24:11
countries we're going through inflation

24:13
we're going through high gas prices

24:14
we're going through all kinds of things

24:17
we don't know how that's going to end up

24:18
end up none of it we have no clue

24:21
so

24:22
go ahead

24:23
well i

24:24
going back to when you asked me i said

24:26
about the more writing so

24:29
you know i well i don't i don't know um

24:32
you mentioned that i published a book

24:34
what happened was that a friend a

24:36
relative of mine talked me into doing my

24:38
dna four years ago

24:40
and

24:41
there's no reason to think that i wasn't

24:44
born to the people i was born to and had

24:46
the background i did

24:48
believe it or not it turns out that the

24:51
daddy who raised me was not my birth

24:53
father my biological father and nobody

24:56
knew and people say well your mother had

24:59
to know and i say no my mother didn't

25:01
have to know

25:02
they didn't have

25:03
dna back then so technical

25:06
reality is that my mother had no way of

25:09
knowing and so i was in my writing group

25:12
i put my travel stories aside and

25:15
started to write my surprise family find

25:18
your ancestry story because i was of of

25:21
course obsessed with trying to find out

25:23
who he was so the book was a mystery

25:26
it was a memoir because how can you say

25:29
oh my god i have a different father i

25:31
have different grandparents without

25:34
thinking of the ones you really have

25:36
right and then it's a manual because i

25:38
couldn't help but explain

25:40
how to do it to other people now my

25:42
writing group said oh that's too

25:44
technical that's not interesting to us

25:46
so i put the manual part in the back of

25:48
the book

25:49
and i don't know how much that's

25:52
affected me because

25:54
the family that i found

25:58
really was similar to the family i grew

26:00
up in and i went to one of their

26:04
old reunions they are from pennsylvania

26:06
and you know the pennsylvania or

26:07
pennsylvania dutch which means they're

26:09
germans

26:10
because people thought deutsche met

26:12
dutch

26:13
and um

26:15
they could have been my relatives

26:18
and the thank goodness

26:21
thank goodness the new biological father

26:24
died and what was really amazing is that

26:26
he

26:27
died about the same time my father died

26:30
when he was 65.

26:32
my daddy died my my real dad died at 65

26:36
the biological father died but he had a

26:39
brother

26:40
and somehow when we met

26:43
we really connected and he and his wife

26:46
really were wonderful to me and

26:49
he said i didn't look like james the

26:51
man's name is james but after a while

26:53
both of them said oh my god she really

26:55
reminds you of him

26:57
and

26:58
it was wonderful because i've always

27:00
stood out my family thought i was crazy

27:04
i'm very outgoing if i'm at an accident

27:07
and i think the police are telling an

27:08
injured person the wrong thing i holler

27:11
at the police

27:13
but

27:14
it's gotten me into trouble

27:16
in a lot of ways but now i found out

27:18
that this he owned a collection agency

27:22
so he was articulate aggressive

27:26
and i said you know well no wonder i

27:29
wasn't afraid when i would do the things

27:31
i did on trips i was just like my father

27:35
i love it your father was a ran a

27:37
collections agency your mom let's just

27:39
go ahead and categorize her she was a

27:41
pool hustler she played pool

27:44
and you got a you got a doctor from

27:45
wharton that's america right there in a

27:48
nutshell and we're going to have this

27:50
book it's called my surprise family find

27:53
your ancestry story

27:54
and it's by margaret m nicholson phd

27:57
peggy as we know her as you know her now

28:00
we'll have that link on the site i would

28:02
encourage you to pick that up because

28:04
she's a fantastic writer and it's almost

28:06
kind of a mystery she writes it in a way

28:08
that's a mystery but

28:10
it's factual and then i was going to ask

28:12
as you were kind of explaining all of

28:14
that

28:15
was it cathartic was it good to find all

28:18
of that out or was it painful or was it

28:20
both

28:21
yes both

28:22
and the part the part that was good is

28:24
there was never anything wrong with me

28:27
like i know now where my personality

28:31
came from because it and it it

28:35
it did me well in some cases

28:37
but the combination of growing up with a

28:40
mother that never disciplined who

28:42
allowed me to talk back it made it

28:44
really hard for me in in jobs and um

28:48
but of course

28:50
with the phd from wharton it really

28:53
opened doors you know should i tell them

28:55
the story of why i trust you like you

28:58
said i'm not a client

29:00
because i don't know i mean you know we

29:02
have talked before and um

29:04
about the wharton guy babel

29:06
yeah david babel now david babble just

29:09
to give people kind of insight um

29:12
wharton phd pro wharton professor very

29:14
very smart and he was pro annuity as a

29:17
category for people to look at it

29:19
without a jaded view and look at them

29:20
for what they do which is transfer risk

29:23
provide lifetime income etc

29:25
but he tragically passed away so when i

29:27
was when mark you know peggy and i talk

29:30
once or twice a year just because we do

29:32
and um and i told her that that day that

29:35
he had passed away david passed away and

29:38
she didn't know that so you can take it

29:39
from there

29:40
well what happened is that years ago oh

29:43
in this room

29:45
okay i'll try to stay on topic see this

29:47
is the reason i this is the reason i

29:49
failed as

29:51
as a professor in colleges

29:53
because

29:54
students that come and want you to stay

29:56
on track just tell them what they need

29:58
for the test i drove them crazy there

30:00
were a few students who said oh this is

30:03
the best teacher i ever had the ones

30:04
that came prepared so but it's my it's

30:07
my job to keep you in your lane

30:10
well here's the thing

30:11
is that of course i've

30:15
if you really do understand

30:17
what transfer risk means and what

30:19
immediate annuities are we're not

30:22
talking about variable annuities you

30:24
just know that you need an annuity

30:27
that's why you have social security

30:29
that's why companies used to create the

30:32
annuity for you but when you teach in

30:35
colleges you can do this 403 b and now

30:38
here you are an ordinary person and

30:40
you're supposed to manage your own money

30:42
which is ridiculous and so

30:45
i called stan because he was in the area

30:47
and i wanted to try to do an annuity and

30:50
he mentioned this

30:52
babel person

30:53
and i had read i think i might have even

30:55
said babel's written a wonderful article

30:57
about why annuities make sense and how

31:00
to structure them

31:01
and because i do have a phd from wharton

31:05
you can use that doctor to get open

31:08
doors for you sometimes even

31:10
physic even physicians i'll say dr

31:13
nicholson because it will get you in but

31:16
i called him because his phone number

31:18
was listed i said this is you know

31:20
margaret nicholson i studied under

31:21
russell akov

31:23
and that gave me a chance to talk to him

31:26
and i mentioned stan he said oh yeah

31:29
i've talked to him and he even told me

31:31
about this one annuity i really didn't

31:33
need so that

31:35
took away all my anxiety

31:38
that he you know

31:40
about trusting stan and stan has told i

31:43
asked him about those new culac things

31:46
and because of my situation

31:49
i'm single i have one daughter one

31:51
grandson it probably isn't appropriate

31:54
but

31:55
you know i trust him that way but the

31:57
story that i was going to go off on

31:59
about this thing

32:01
with what i'm trying why we're talking

32:03
now why i called you

32:05
back

32:06
i'm going i'm trying like i said i'm

32:09
trying to clean out my house i did all

32:11
that

32:12
clothing

32:13
i have paperwork like crazy

32:16
so i got out all my financial stuff and

32:19
would you believe i've been throwing out

32:21
inches and inches of stacks of paper

32:24
where i've been pricing out annuities

32:27
for the last 10 years of my life

32:30
it's and i'm looking and i think peggy

32:33
you've known this is the right thing to

32:35
do

32:36
you haven't moved on it

32:38
you know maybe maybe it's good maybe

32:40
it's it maybe it's good because now that

32:42
you're 78 and in fact i'm going to wait

32:45
till i'm 79. i since i don't since

32:48
nothing will make a difference between

32:50
now and 79 because of the

32:53
tia craft thing sure um uh the older i

32:56
am now the more money of course but

32:59
i'm thinking this is ridiculous i

33:01
i spend more of my time

33:04
agonizing over money than friends i have

33:07
that don't have money that can just go

33:09
out and enjoy themselves well i think a

33:11
lot of people out there just nodded

33:12
their head because money and we know

33:15
this but you don't know this until you

33:16
get money so when you grow up poor and

33:18
then all of a sudden you have money

33:20
money doesn't solve anything it doesn't

33:22
solve anything at all in fact

33:24
it makes it complicated if you let it

33:27
make it complicated and i think what

33:28
you're saying is very poignant which is

33:31
don't let money complicate your life

33:34
do some simple things to make your life

33:37
very

33:38
turnkey for lack of a better phrase and

33:40
that can be done this isn't some pitch

33:42
for annuities because

33:43
you know at the end of the day it either

33:45
makes sense to you or it does not one of

33:47
the things we pride ourselves here is

33:49
we're not high pressure we we have

33:50
conversations we have discussions

33:53
and we give you enough information and

33:55
enough um you know the calculators and

33:58
all that to make your own decision on

33:59
your terms in your time frame i was

34:00
going to pivot though

34:02
because i want to make sure that i get i

34:04
i

34:05
asked more questions that people are

34:07
really interested in because i know at

34:08
this point they're like man is this lady

34:10
fascinating the other thing i do want to

34:12
say that i recognize

34:14
i am

34:15
i

34:16
i know that i uh i'm in

34:18
i'm embarra i don't want people to think

34:20
when i say

34:21
oh that woman was on there complaining

34:24
that she has money but people should

34:26
remember that the reason i do have it

34:28
i remember dating a man once where i

34:30
lived in an efficiency apartment and he

34:32
said he implied that something was wrong

34:35
with me that i'm in an efficiency

34:37
instead of like a one bedroom or two

34:39
bedroom but i mean i really have

34:41
deprived myself the reason i have money

34:43
is i didn't buy gold necklaces i didn't

34:46
eat out and why is that why did you make

34:49
was that a conscious decision was that

34:51
from your childhoods was that was that

34:53
what it discussed earlier scars from the

34:55
lower middle class the disease of money

34:58
where did that

35:00
come my sister's my i have two younger

35:02
sisters and we're all different actually

35:05
i think i have two younger sisters that

35:07
are grow that are my real sisters

35:10
obviously they're my half sisters and i

35:13
have three other siblings from

35:17
from that man but anyway i can't

35:20
it can't just be it has to be part of

35:22
your personality because although they

35:24
say every sibling grows up at it with

35:27
different parents

35:28
you know i'm different um

35:31
i'm stingy in a way i mean

35:34
you know where did that come from though

35:36
because that i you know i talk to people

35:37
all the time i had a i had a

35:39
conversation the other day with a

35:40
gentleman very nice gentleman he's had

35:42
some health issues we're talking about

35:44
putting an immediate annuity in his

35:46
portfolio for lifetime income and we're

35:48
structuring it joint life with his

35:49
spouse so that it continues

35:51
uninterrupted unchanged for her life but

35:53
here's what he said

35:54
he said you know what stan

35:56
i might just wait two more years and

35:58
turn it on because it'll be more when

36:00
i'm older i'm like i agree with that but

36:03
you have to factor in the payments that

36:04
you missed for those two years

36:07
while you're waiting to be you know

36:09
deprive yourself once again i said and i

36:11
told him i said at what point in time

36:14
are you going to stop depriving yourself

36:18
and what's the answer to that how do

36:20
people get across that bridge

36:23
i

36:26
that you're asking me that's why i

36:28
called you

36:29
but

36:30
but but i wasn't i am going i'm going to

36:33
do it i think it has to do for me anyway

36:36
like i said there's a thing about when

36:38
you get money of course you have to

36:39
spend money to live

36:42
but then you save it for me once you get

36:45
it in the bank and speaking of dying you

36:47
know what

36:48
i took i took my children when they were

36:52
13 and 16 on a trip around europe now i

36:55
had a boyfriend vladimir vlahovic he

36:58
lived in philly but he was dropping

37:00
names i love it go ahead he's he's

37:02
passed away that's what i'm saying

37:04
that's fine

37:06
he

37:07
he was from serbia from yugoslavia and

37:10
so part of the trip around europe of

37:12
course would we would go to to dubrovnik

37:14
sure and

37:16
i

37:17
had four thousand dollar i'm living in a

37:20
in an apa you know that efficiency

37:23
i have four thousand dollars in the bank

37:25
because i sold a house after a divorce

37:28
and i got the four thousand dollars and

37:30
i had no job

37:32
and i'm deciding how much money to spend

37:35
on that trip to europe with my children

37:37
now you have to remember how long ago

37:39
that was and we were going on a train we

37:42
had no hotel reservations we would just

37:44
be staying where whatever cheap hotel we

37:47
could find and you know what a friend a

37:50
close friend died

37:52
while

37:53
while i was waiting to go and i said you

37:55
know what it doesn't matter how much of

37:58
that 4 000 i spend because

38:00
somebody you know he because of that and

38:04
i just went on the trip i spent and when

38:06
i came home i got a job and

38:10
you know so there was there was a moment

38:11
that that forced you to that i'm gonna

38:13
once again i'm gonna put the book on the

38:15
site where you can look at it but i'm

38:17
looking at it now on my screen

38:18
and and when people go to my site and

38:20
look at that that's your mom and dad and

38:22
that's you standing in the middle right

38:23
there right for people for the people

38:25
that do can see here's the book on the

38:28
youtube channel

38:30
so your mom looked like this tiny little

38:33
demure sweet

38:35
lady

38:36
but she was a pool hustlers what you're

38:38
telling me the lady i'm looking at on

38:40
that book cover would go into bars and

38:43
hustle people for money

38:45
she didn't hustle them for money that

38:48
she she was just so good and people she

38:51
wouldn't do it it's people that would

38:53
she'd be like she was playing in poll

38:55
leagues all the time and she was really

38:57
good so we call her a hustler and the

39:00
men that didn't know her thought oh they

39:02
could meet or beat a woman did you keep

39:05
a pool cue of hers please tell me you

39:07
did please oh yes we she had that was

39:09
one of the major things when she died

39:11
that everybody got pull she

39:14
now there's a good example she was like

39:16
she didn't probably have as much money

39:18
as your mom of course but she had she

39:21
was secure because my dad had worked on

39:22
the railroad sure and um so

39:26
she

39:27
she would

39:28
this is one of the stories that's on my

39:31
website that my

39:33
son wrote

39:34
for a school paper where

39:36
she's she found out the legion was going

39:39
to start charging

39:41
more money for

39:43
a screwdriver and so she was only going

39:45
to drink beer there and when she went to

39:47
the vfw it was 10 cents cheaper but she

39:50
spent 100 on a pool cue she spent a

39:54
hundred dollars on it and so and so when

39:56
she left

39:57
a will and left things every one of you

39:59
got pool cues

40:00
we all yes we all guys that's fantastic

40:03
and where's that in your house is that

40:05
prominently displayed i hope it is it's

40:07
not displayed because i use it to shoot

40:10
pool so it's in a carry thing but it's

40:12
limited

40:13
so you shoot pool too i try but i'll

40:15
tell you it's skipped a generation her

40:18
grandchildren

40:19
her grandchildren all play and are good

40:21
at it but somehow

40:23
you know i would go when she got with

40:26
her heart when she couldn't um when she

40:28
needed to stop driving and i would drive

40:31
her

40:32
and then i shot pool but she would have

40:34
to put her i could never learn to bank

40:37
and she would have to put her finger on

40:39
the edge of the table then i would could

40:41
aim the ball for that but i have tried

40:43
even here in st augustine we have a pool

40:45
hall so my grandson and i shoot school

40:47
sometimes

40:48
um got a question uh

40:51
if you're a retiree you've been good at

40:53
it you're trying to get better at it

40:54
what i like about what about you peggy

40:56
is you're trying to be a better retiree

40:59
you're trying to teach yourself to be a

41:00
better retiree and i think there's

41:02
there's validity to that and and that's

41:04
the reason i wanted to have you on

41:06
because you have just a anybody who's

41:08
part of a group called the preparing for

41:10
death support group

41:11
gets my attention because you're you're

41:13
an outside the box thinker and you're

41:16
you're pushing the limit on how to

41:18
approach

41:19
not only retirement but our eventual

41:21
death as a friend of mine bill black

41:22
says life insurance guy one out of one

41:25
of us is gonna die and that's that's

41:26
pretty good odds but what mistakes

41:29
glaring mistakes

41:31
just in your travels and you speaking to

41:34
your friends and and people in your your

41:36
your age range and life stage what

41:38
mistakes are people making that we

41:40
haven't covered

41:44
i i think the thing that i started the

41:46
group for that that you think there's

41:48
going to be

41:50
a tomorrow

41:51
you're you're still waiting you know how

41:53
when you're young and you're young and

41:56
you can't wait to be 13 and then you

41:58
can't wait to graduate then you get

41:59
that's what i could feel myself doing

42:02
that's what i didn't like i thought oh

42:04
my god i've married divorced i've had

42:06
children i've got my grandchild it's

42:09
like

42:10
what why do i think the day is going to

42:12
come

42:13
when i'm ready

42:15
what does that mean i mean when my

42:16
mother died she still had this fantasy

42:19
that someday she was going to have her

42:21
whole house cleaned fixed up organized

42:24
at one time and that's what i could feel

42:26
myself

42:28
waiting and like i say i have these

42:30
ideas um

42:31
you know i interviewed my grandmother

42:33
when she was 80 years old and now i

42:36
transcribed it and i'm getting the

42:38
pictures and putting it into a book

42:40
and

42:41
all these things but i don't wanna

42:44
i i want that to be there that i'm

42:46
working on but

42:48
i want to only enjoy

42:51
today

42:52
i you know it's that stupid

42:53
old-fashioned it's not all it's old but

42:56
mindfulness there's this concept where

43:00
you know speaking of one of us is going

43:02
to die we're only alive at the moment

43:04
we're we're alive now

43:06
we i mean we only have i don't mean

43:09
alive we have this moment we have

43:12
memories from the past we can think

43:14
about the future but we can only live

43:18
right now

43:19
in this moment

43:21
and

43:22
and that's

43:24
i it's

43:25
i think it's important

43:27
and i think that um

43:29
that's what i'm trying to do that

43:32
i'm ready any moment to drop debt i'm

43:35
ready to either drop dead from a

43:36
hemorrhage or get hit by a bus

43:39
i mean i'm i'm not it would be kind of a

43:42
mess to be embarrassed that somebody

43:44
would come in here i mean it doesn't

43:46
look nice back here this count me again

43:47
the people that are viewing it on the

43:49
youtube the people on the podcast

43:50
channel just let me right can't see it

43:52
looks like she's in a library and her

43:53
books behind her it looks great it's

43:55
very very very nice but i want i want to

43:58
stop waiting i want and i and it's

44:00
worked the group has really do you know

44:02
when the group went around that first

44:04
night

44:05
and i'm thinking it's about living for

44:07
today

44:08
they all said what their funeral plans

44:10
either were or they didn't have any and

44:12
that's not the point of the group the

44:14
point of the group is to live not well

44:17
but guess what when they got to me i

44:19
said

44:20
i haven't i don't know my daughter has

44:22
said i should plan my funeral i don't

44:24
even know if i want to be i didn't know

44:26
if i wanted to be cremated or buried

44:28
well

44:29
i went with a group to see a natural

44:31
cemetery in gainesville they just put

44:34
you in the ground in a pine box or a

44:37
shroud

44:38
and so do you know what i did since then

44:41
i sent them a donation because you can't

44:43
pay a head for a place but it reserves i

44:46
went to a funeral home

44:48
got the numbers for sherry i didn't

44:50
pre-pay because who knows

44:52
i could be in one of those apartment

44:54
buildings like miami where you collapse

44:56
but

44:57
it really made a difference because then

44:59
i really had to believe i was dying if i

45:02
made a donation to a cemetery and i told

45:04
my daughter wrap me in a shroud i don't

45:07
want to be burned up your soul i don't

45:10
even believe in souls but it takes 40

45:12
days supposedly for your soul to get out

45:14
of your body and i think it helped me

45:16
because i think it's making me face

45:18
death and therefore making me

45:21
say today's my day

45:24
well the great part about this podcast

45:26
is it's being recorded and it's going to

45:28
be living in forever as long as there's

45:30
an internet and people oh my god i hope

45:32
i'm not i i hope i don't hear something

45:35
that i want you to edit out or so let me

45:36
tell you something people are going to

45:38
be watching this for a long long time to

45:39
come and i think that

45:41
we've kind of caught lightning in a

45:43
bottle here because

45:44
um your insights that you have woven

45:47
into these stories that are that are

45:50
just fantastic

45:52
have been great and i think what i'm

45:53
going to uh go away walk away from this

45:56
number one you're fantastic as

45:58
everyone's hearing and nodding

46:00
but number two

46:02
um the fact that and you said something

46:04
that i've been in the the financial

46:06
business for three decades plus you said

46:08
that that there's no information out

46:11
there

46:12
to make that find that financial

46:14
decision there's not that all the

46:15
information you need is not available

46:17
because there's no way it can can be

46:19
available i think if everyone can this

46:21
put that in the back of their head

46:23
it would make them a a better investor b

46:25
live better

46:27
you live for the day and then prepare to

46:30
live your life while you're here

46:32
um because people always ask me is this

46:34
a good time to buy an annuity is this

46:36
the right timing when should i buy

46:38
there's no good answer to that just bad

46:40
sales pitches as i say um

46:43
but it's it's just been fantastic as i

46:45
do with all of i'm not i i don't ever

46:47
tell my guests that i'm going to do this

46:49
until the very end but with all of my

46:51
celebrity guests

46:53
at the very end we're kind of there

46:56
i asked them for a mic drop moment

46:59
meaning that

47:00
you've got the mic for 30 seconds to a

47:03
minute if you have one thing to say to

47:06
this audience which is huge

47:09
and nationwide

47:11
what would you say

47:12
peggy

47:13
what what's your mic drop moment

47:19
to really

47:20
to really somehow

47:22
believe to know that you're no matter

47:25
how old you are right now it's easy for

47:27
somebody my age 78

47:29
to say oh admit know that you're going

47:32
to die but i think for any age to really

47:35
recognize that you're not going anywhere

47:38
there's no place to go you're you're

47:40
here

47:41
you know when my when my daddy died when

47:44
he was 65 he was a really really just

47:48
normal man he worked on the railroad he

47:50
was not very sophisticated

47:54
socially

47:55
the family loved him he was funny

47:59
he didn't volunteer he didn't he was he

48:02
was a 1950s father

48:05
and you know his life was worth every

48:08
minute he you don't have to do anything

48:11
to deserve your life

48:13
you just are

48:15
and and just to live

48:17
oh gosh i hope i can listen to this

48:19
again and really remember and the other

48:22
thing is to remember and it's easy now

48:24
with what's going on in the ukraine i i

48:27
used to use mash to remind myself

48:30
no matter what you think your problems

48:32
are and of course some people could have

48:34
very serious problems right now and

48:36
illness

48:37
and and have gone through bad things i

48:40
i've gone through

48:41
um

48:42
i used to have two children so i've gone

48:45
through a bad thing but to remember that

48:48
in general

48:50
you know

48:51
your life is really good it's life

48:54
life at the moment if you're not going

48:57
and to enjoy it during that time and not

48:59
let the little things drive you crazy

49:01
like i've got to finish my i volunteer

49:05
to do taxes i've got to get that done

49:07
do i get it done so i don't have to

49:09
think about it no it's in my mind every

49:12
night and then another night so when we

49:14
hang up from this i'm going to take my

49:16
own advice finish the door in taxes

49:18
there you go so don't let the little

49:20
things ruin your life

49:22
i think that is a great way to end it

49:25
and and who you're listening to is is a

49:27
superstar

49:28
that is going to i think this i'm not a

49:30
celebrity and i'm not getting ready

49:32
you're getting ready you're getting

49:34
ready to be one and um i really

49:36
appreciate

49:37
peggy nicholson margaret peggy nicholson

49:40
joining us again i'll have everything on

49:42
my site that you can

49:44
contact her buy her book etc and if you

49:47
want to start your own preparing for

49:48
death support group she can guide you

49:50
there but i think that's a very unique

49:52
way to go about

49:54
reflecting on your life and preparing

49:56
for to live for the day

49:58
but i want to thank once again everybody

50:00
that's listening to us on all the major

50:02
podcast platforms and everyone that's

50:04
viewing this on the fun with annuities

50:06
youtube channel

50:08
my name is standy nudiman and you have

50:10
been listening to fun with annuities and

50:11
i will see you next

50:14
week

50:19
thanks for listening to fun with

50:21
annuities please hit the subscribe

50:22
button and make sure to go to my site at

50:25
the annuityman.com where you can run

50:28
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50:31
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50:33
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50:35
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50:38
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50:40
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50:42
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50:46
encourage you to schedule a one-on-one

50:48
call with me stan the annuity man so we

50:50
can have a full discussion of your

50:53
specific situation it will be the best

50:55
brutally factual and truthful advice you

50:59
will ever get and that's one guarantee

51:01
you should definitely take advantage of

51:03
so join me next time for the number one

51:05
annuity podcast on the planet fun

51:08
with annuities

51:12
[Music]

51:23
you